#1

(Middle of the night. Youngest child screaming “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! from her room.)

ME: Oh my God.

DADDY: Oh my God. What is going on?

ME: Bloody Mary. One of the kids at school told her some story about “Bloody Mary.” Now she has nightmares.

DADDY: What century is this this?

#2

(Middle of the same night. Youngest child screaming “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! from her room.)

DADDY: I went last time. You go.

ME: Can’t move.

DADDY: I’m not going.

ME: (yelling to child from bed) GO TO SLEEP!

DADDY: (also yellng to child from bed) GO TO SLEEP!

CHILD: MOMMY! DADDY!

DADDY: You go.

ME: Oh my God, I’ll go.

#3

(Middle of the same night. Youngest child screaming “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! from her room.)

MOMMY AND DADDY: (yelling from bed) GO TO SLEEP!

CHILD: (yelling back) I have to tell you something!

DADDY: At least she made it until morning.

MOMMY: (lifting head from under pillow and noticing it is still dark) What time is it?

DADDY: Five.

MOMMY: Five is not morning.

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