I had intended to write a post on endurance but I just couldn’t quite pull it off. Attention span issues.

Also I’m in something of a mood these days. It happens. (Jim is in the basement voluntarily doing laundry, if that’s any indication how pleasant my company is at the moment.) So I’m renaming this post “Standstill” because, while that’s not where I am, it’s where I wish I was.

Rather, I’m at more or less full speed, with a calendar full of things to do and places to be, including food items to be procured for the aforementioned things to do and places to be. Mostly I’m bringing grapes to everything. While that seems odd, this year my tactic has been to sign up to bring the same item to all school and kid-related events. I chose grapes. They qualify as a healthy snack and require no assembly, just a little washing. This might be the wisest choice I’ve made so far this month.

Other than that I find myself very, very tired, which may account for my sour (yet grape-flavored–oh that’s bad. Sorry.) mood. So tired I’ve even contemplated calling the doctor and rescheduling that appointment I ditched earlier this year but I can’t quite bring myself to do it. (I hate doctors. Haven’t seen one since I rejected my loony obstetrician in favor of a far more low-tech midwife, with the exception of that very nice doctor at the Block Island Medical Center last summer who, THANK GOD, gave me some wacky steroid to kill off a nasty case of poison ivy that I couldn’t do anything with other than spread it further across… you don’t want to hear this, do you?)

So I was at school today (prior to today’s grape-strewn, year-end party) sharing my misery with a friend who very helpfully suggested that I might have a vitamin D deficiency, a thyroid problem, or, possibly, something wrong with my adrenal glands. Then I went on a run with another friend of mine who correctly pointed out that I have a family history of these sorts of things, that bloodwork was quite easily managed, and that I was likely borderline insane and should have gone to the doctor about this months ago. She even threatened to come dial the phone for me and you know I really almost called. Honestly, I gave it some serious thought.

But I didn’t. I washed some grapes, went to the party and life went on. This afternoon I choked down a vitamin roughly the size of my cell phone and decided that would have to do.

I don’t think it helped, though.